I looked up the word certainty just to be certain that I wasn't missing some key point in defining it. This is what Webster says: the state of being or feeling certain about something
: something that is certain : a fact about which there is no doubt.
I found it annoying that the root word was contained in each definition. This drew a question in me about whether this was going to end up being a round and round thought process with no point to it whatsoever. Does this mean that even Webster was uncertain about expressing an undefined idea.
My biggest issue in my own want for certainty is how much it limits possibility. I very rarely express my thoughts about things I'm unsure of. If my own ideas are not made clear enough to where I believe I'll be understood, I will stay quiet. I would rather express that I don't know than to vulnerably state things that I'm uncertain are true.
So this leaves an interesting dilemma when Proverbs 3:5-6 says
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
This poses a problem when I value my own understanding. It creates an even bigger problem when I direct my path based on my understanding. It is sure to lead down some very crooked paths.
So I sit and wonder.
Where does my need to understand cross paths with God's promise to provide wisdom.
James 1:5
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
And Proverbs 2 adds much more to this thought.
My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding--
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.
16 Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.
18 Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.
20 Thus you will walk in the ways of the good
and keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;
22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
So which is it? Is it good to seek understanding and wisdom? Can a person be certain in it?
I tend toward looking for tangible evidence when I'm wanting to understand something. It is as if I sometimes view the world through the lense of a scientist. If there is sufficient real life evidence, I can become certain I understand something that is true. In my experience, I have not seen gravity fail as a true concept even though I cannot touch gravity. It isn't necessarily tangible. I cannot touch it or hold it, but I can consistently see the effects and find this consistency creates certainty. This consistency shows up regularly in the laws of nature and my understanding of this leads to certainty in those truths.
I am certain that even when the sun is behind the clouds and I cannot see it, that it still faithfully rose in the east every single day. I've seen evidence of God's promises shine into life, yet I do not understand most of the time what God is up to. I've seen sufficient evidence that He is always up to something. Though days go by, sometimes many days, and time gets really long. My lack of certainty drags into wanting to understand. I move back into looking toward my own understanding. I forget that those paths become crooked. I live with big questions and my own small answers. I again turn toward tangible certainty for something to hold on to.
Then a passage in Hebrews 6 jumps in. I like the wording in the Message Bible.
13-18 When God made his promise to Abraham, he backed it to the hilt, putting his own reputation on the line. He said, “I promise that I’ll bless you with everything I have—bless and bless and bless!” Abraham stuck it out and got everything that had been promised to him. When people make promises, they guarantee them by appeal to some authority above them so that if there is any question that they’ll make good on the promise, the authority will back them up. When God wanted to guarantee his promises, he gave his word, a rock-solid guarantee—God can’t break his word. And because his word cannot change, the promise is likewise unchangeable.
I wrestle with what this looks like when there are promises that lack no correlating evidence as truth. When it seems impossible to see how some words could look in real life application. What do you do when it doesn't make sense in the place of current existence in life?
Does my longing for something certain, something tangible, some thing that makes sense, limit the possibilities in life? To this question, I've had to conclude the answer is yes. If all possibility were based on my limited understandings, then nothing would be amazing. There would be no wonder, no awe struck moments, no possibility of anything Bigger and better than the current assessment. There would be nothing new to pursue.
So the question in me of what is certain and why still lives. Though the very nature in me of curiosity and questioning speaks to this truth. If I only lived in the certainty of my current understanding, my constant questioning would have to cease. Though again returning to the idea that it isn't good to seek my own understanding and base my life on those ideas as facts. Though the regular access to The God who sees all these things and is not bound within my understanding, allows my to seek His wisdom and His perspective. He promises to be generous with these things. So shall I base my certainty on what makes sense to me? Probably not the best plan. I have no desire to have a human size god.
Today I think I'll run with my lack of certainty and look at the bigger perspective of what is certain even when my mind lacks the biggness to see tangibly and to make sense of everything. ... today's possibility lives in the place of believing what I cannot see, what I cannot hold and just simply resides in "because He said so. " Maybe just maybe this creates certainty in what doesn't always make sense even though I still grapple with what it looks like and all the big questions. I need a big God for big questions, because my understanding often lives in the world of "it doesn't make sense. "
Keep seeking truth.
Until next time....