Decided it was a good day to write down thoughts and make an intentional effort to remember these observations.
Today feels very cold. I do not like feeling cold. Today is very rainy. I do not like rainy days. Today I feel physical pain. I do not like pain. Today the sun is not shining. I do not like dreary weather. This would typically draw complaining out of me.
Today I'm proclaiming joy. Shouting outloud "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. !"
There are a thousand reasons for this joy as anyone who lives nearby knows. The many days of withheld rain have driven a longing for it. The firestorm of destruction has led many to unity in crying out to God. The rain coming down grows faith in the smallest child who might wrestle with their smallness and whether God hears them too. The torrents of the downpour douse the flames of destruction while reviving the flames in our spirits. The air is becoming breathable and healthy, and we can breathe deeply a restoring breath. Crops can grow, droughts can end, fires can cease, safety can be restored. People can return to their homes. FireFighters can find rest. There are a thousand reasons to be grateful that override any possibility of grumbling.
My perspective is actively being changed.
My awareness of this grows questions in my heart and soul. My joy in today brings to the surface how fickle my feelings can be. How easily I am swayed by circumstantial perspectives and judge them as either good or bad. I had a friend talk on this one day and his conclusion was "either way it's the same damn day, so why not call it good".
Because I forget things along the way in the long darker parts of the path.
Psalm 42
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you......
The last few years have had many hard challenges for my family. Many days that felt hugely discouraging. Many situations that have gone on and on and seemed impossible. Many moments where hopelessness could have taken us captive. Tremendous questioning of my downcast soul, to restore hope by the intentional act of repeating the stories of God's faithfulness to my family. "My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember...."
When I'm walking through the dark woods feeling alone and cannot find my way, and fear cripples my sense of direction. When I think giving up would be easier than pressing on. When I'm tired and cold and confused and in pain and I don't think I have the strength to get through these places. When I feel trapped and powerless to do anything about it. When I've exhausted all my good ideas and am beginning to settle into the belief that there is no solution. Deciding it is impossible.
This place is the perfect position to see light. This position is the very soil that something very alive bursts out of. These are the experiences that God's glory explodes out of brighter and louder than anything I imagine as possible. These are the places I cannot disbelieve or discount the immensity of God's goodness and love.
Today feels very cold. I do not like feeling cold. Today is very rainy. I do not like rainy days. Today I feel physical pain. I do not like pain. Today the sun is not shining. I do not like dreary weather. This would typically draw complaining out of me.
Today I'm proclaiming joy. Shouting outloud "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. !"
There are a thousand reasons for this joy as anyone who lives nearby knows. The many days of withheld rain have driven a longing for it. The firestorm of destruction has led many to unity in crying out to God. The rain coming down grows faith in the smallest child who might wrestle with their smallness and whether God hears them too. The torrents of the downpour douse the flames of destruction while reviving the flames in our spirits. The air is becoming breathable and healthy, and we can breathe deeply a restoring breath. Crops can grow, droughts can end, fires can cease, safety can be restored. People can return to their homes. FireFighters can find rest. There are a thousand reasons to be grateful that override any possibility of grumbling.
My perspective is actively being changed.
My awareness of this grows questions in my heart and soul. My joy in today brings to the surface how fickle my feelings can be. How easily I am swayed by circumstantial perspectives and judge them as either good or bad. I had a friend talk on this one day and his conclusion was "either way it's the same damn day, so why not call it good".
Because I forget things along the way in the long darker parts of the path.
Psalm 42
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you......
The last few years have had many hard challenges for my family. Many days that felt hugely discouraging. Many situations that have gone on and on and seemed impossible. Many moments where hopelessness could have taken us captive. Tremendous questioning of my downcast soul, to restore hope by the intentional act of repeating the stories of God's faithfulness to my family. "My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember...."
When I'm walking through the dark woods feeling alone and cannot find my way, and fear cripples my sense of direction. When I think giving up would be easier than pressing on. When I'm tired and cold and confused and in pain and I don't think I have the strength to get through these places. When I feel trapped and powerless to do anything about it. When I've exhausted all my good ideas and am beginning to settle into the belief that there is no solution. Deciding it is impossible.
This place is the perfect position to see light. This position is the very soil that something very alive bursts out of. These are the experiences that God's glory explodes out of brighter and louder than anything I imagine as possible. These are the places I cannot disbelieve or discount the immensity of God's goodness and love.
Continuing on with Psalm 42
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the Lord directs his love,
at night his song is with me –
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
‘Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?’
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
‘Where is your God?’
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.
When it feels like I'm drowning in the crashing ocean of circumstances beyond my control. I desperately need to remember how the wind and the waves are calmed and trust the One who does this. It certainly isn't my doing when the impossible shifts to awe. I am again brought back to this:
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
And the question, will I choose to thank God for the dark days while they are still dark? Will I speak joy over the seemingly impossible places? Will I ever stop complaining about how the stage is being set for the amazing things to come?
maybe if I remember. ...
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the Lord directs his love,
at night his song is with me –
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
‘Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?’
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
‘Where is your God?’
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.
When it feels like I'm drowning in the crashing ocean of circumstances beyond my control. I desperately need to remember how the wind and the waves are calmed and trust the One who does this. It certainly isn't my doing when the impossible shifts to awe. I am again brought back to this:
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
And the question, will I choose to thank God for the dark days while they are still dark? Will I speak joy over the seemingly impossible places? Will I ever stop complaining about how the stage is being set for the amazing things to come?
maybe if I remember. ...
Faithful and unchanging. There will always be light breaking through the darkness and revealing of solid ground.